her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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