the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
