did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize