I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
