she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
