Princesses don't give blow jobs
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
