ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
