You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
