So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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