You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
