So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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