I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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