is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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