Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
