When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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