i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
