Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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