WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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