Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
