I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No subtext here. People are naked.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
