Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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