Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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