it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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