I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
