your room smells of hookers.
And success
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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