THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
