Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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