we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
