I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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