That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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