It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
