Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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