Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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