Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
