After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
