Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Who did Billy Mays play for?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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