It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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