Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
