very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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