If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
