the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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