just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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