ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
