she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
