come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize