Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I've blown a few things in my day
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
