so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
