Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
