Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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