Its about making memories worth repressing
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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