Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
