Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
