also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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