Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
