he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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