I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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