I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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