I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
