my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
