mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I need water and some morals
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
