But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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