I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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