omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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