Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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