Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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