i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize