they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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