I wannas sexs uuuuu
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm both gender and math confused
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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