Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
